Small Town Sheriff Seeks Celebrity

A picture surfaced last week of Michael Phelps smoking pot. America is outraged.

Luckily, Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott may bring Phelps up on charges, that could land him in jail for up to 30 days. 30 days America will be free from the horrors of Michael Phelps' marijuana use.

"This case is no different than any other case," Lott said Monday. "This one might be a lot easier since we have photographs of someone using drugs and a partial confession. It's a relatively easy case once we can determine where the crime occurred."

Leon Lott, according to his lil' website, was awarded the 2004 Strom Thurmond Award of Excellence in Law Enforcement, which one can only assume is an award given out for arresting the most black people in South Carolina, and Outstanding Leadership in Litter Enforcement for keeping the streets clean literally. He's also a Baptist, so he might arrest you for just about anything not Jesusy.

It seems, more than just getting his name in the paper, what Lott is after is some kind of award for the courage he's showing actually charging Michael Phelps with a crime. If it wasn't for Lott, who would stop Michael Phelps from using safe recreational substances in the privacy of his own home?

So, by the power invested in me by the good folks at Blogger, I'd like to present Sheriff Lott with the 2009 Keeping America Safe From The Evil Michael Phelps And Protecting Individual Liberties and Freedom Award. I hope to see it listed on your website soon Leon!

News Flash: Michael Phelps Smokes Pot

A picture surfaced of Michael Phelps smoking marijuana from a large bong. Good for him.

Phelps later had to apologize, even though he's in top physical condition and has already won fourteen gold medals, he isn't allowed to partake in the safest of recreational drugs. What a weird world we live in.

I'd hope that speculation that Phelps will lose all sorts of endorsement deals are nonsense. He was arrested for a DUI (something obviously much worse for society than pot smoking) in my hometown of Salisbury, MD in 2004 and has done alright since that incident.

My hope for an Obama age is a realization that the war on drugs, specifically marijuana, is a misguided, puritan waste of money.

Update: Great article on Phelps and Marijuana policy at The Huffington Post.